Employee’s plastic surgery for enhancement purposes needed some “tweaking” to get it just right.
Employee broke her ankle because her legs were wobbly when she got off the toilet. (You can’t make this stuff up).
Employee woke up in a great mood and didn’t want to spoil it by going to work.
Employee’s arm was stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and EMS had to be called.
Employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the oven
Employee accidentally got on a plane.
Employee’s dog needs to be walked.
Employee’s prostate was acting up again…Can you say too much information?
Employee’s grandmother passed away…fourth time this year!
Employee’s vagina was too dry….(Not touching this one).
An employee broke one of her acrylic nails and had to go and have it fixed. She wasn’t even supposed to be wearing them.
Employee’s wife called because her husband “caught hypertension”.
Can’t come in because my lipstick broke.
These are all pretty funny. Do you have any that you have heard? Or worse, have you used any that you want to share?