This group is a private group. It’s the first of its kind, developed for nurses who are facing disciplinary action by the board of nursing and it is also for nurses who are struggling with addiction. Here you can discuss sensitive matters related to your situation, in PRIVATE. I have seen countless nurses discussing their cases with others on public forums where prying eyes can see. It’s because of this that I have created this group.
Nurses who are being disciplined by the board feel lost, incredibly insecure, confused, petrified and hopeless. I know this because I’ve been there and until you experience this yourself you cannot begin to understand. When I went through the process I had no one to turn to and there were no groups like this one for me to find other nurses who were experiencing the same horrifying experience.
Because this group is private it cannot be accessed without going through the acceptance procedure. You will only qualify for access to this group if you are facing disciplinary action by the board, and.or you are suffering from addiction. Please follow this link to begin your acceptance to the group by filling out an application.

Newby Here

7 replies, 7 voices Last updated by  Vicky 3 weeks, 2 days ago
Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #11482
    Amy Kennedy
    Amy Kennedy
    Participant
    @Amy Kennedy

    Hi everyone. I’m new here and I need help from others who has been in my shoes. I’m a nurse and I’m addicted to meds. I never dreamed it would be me to fall into this but I did! It all started about 4 years ago after knee surgery and all those meds handed to me. It felt so good to be pain-free and the feeling u get from them is amazing! I never dreamed tho that I could get addicted to the pain meds tho. I thought I was stronger but I wasn’t. My question now is I want off these meds. I read about suboxone treatment and how well it worked if ur in a program with therapy involved. My question is can I start this without telling the board? Will they find out anyway? And can I lose my license if I do? I’m so scared but I want my life back!! .. I am prescribed the pain meds but I can’t stop! I need a program like this to help me I believe.
    –Also, thank you so much for allowing me to be part of this group it’s so encouraging to know I’m not alone that addiction can happen to anyone. And I wanted to let u all know once I realized I had a problem I quit working. It’s been a few months now and I really need to go back, I don’t know tho if I’m allowed to if I get into a suboxon treatment program. I don’t know if I can wait till I finish the program either financially . I’m jus scared and need some real advise thank you all so so much for having me and helping me!

    • This topic was modified 3 weeks, 5 days ago by Amy Kennedy Amy Kennedy.
    #11485
    Oh Snap
    Oh Snap
    Participant
    @Oh Snap

    WELCOME!!!

    I can totally relate to your post and remember when I was at that stage in my life. I was spiralling out of control and I knew that I was going to be the cause of my own demise, and I was!

    I lost everything. I lost my home, my kids, my nursing license for several years. I am only just getting back on my feet. We all know that you don’t want to stop right now because you don’t want to feel the pain of quitting. But you have to realize that this is a process and it too shall pass.

    At first, you feel like you’ll never be able to feel normal again. This feeling is because you damage your natural Dopamine receptors and they have to build back in order to give you a feeling of natural happiness again. It’s a rough road and we can all relate.

    I agree with Onlyanurse, you have to do it cold turkey

    #11487
    Nurse Jewel
    Nurse Jewel
    Participant
    @Nurse Jewel

    Sorry, you are going through such a difficult time right now. Onyanurse is right when she says we can all relate because we have all been there. It’s a very frightening feeling to feel so alone and insecure. But when anyone mentions going off drugs then shudder at the thought because it is a hard thing to go through.

    Suboxone is just as bad. I wouldn’t take it. You are going to have to go cold turkey or, like someone else said, taper off them, by using someone close to you that will not give you more no matter what you say.

    The addicts’ mind is very manipulative when we are trying to get drugs to feed our nasty habit. So you need a buddy that will hold your feet to the fire. Do you have friends or family there? What state do you live in?

    #11489
    Connie
    Connie
    Participant
    @Connie

    Welcome to this group. It saved my life. I don’t know what I would do without the love and support of my friends here. The best thing you can do for yourself is prepare to quit. It doesn’t have to be suddenly. You can mark a date on the calendar and stick with that date.

    I think it’s important not to beat yourself up when you try and you end up relapsing. It happens to all of us. But you have to continue on regardless. I remember thinking when I was in withdrawal that if any one person knew what kind of horrible withdrawal symptoms I was having that they would allow me to have anything.

    Hang in there. Keep coming her. When you need to talk, do it!!!! We will help you! :mail:

    #11493
    Amy Kennedy
    Amy Kennedy
    Participant
    @Amy Kennedy

    Thank you all so much for the welcome and advise. I’m currently not working. Once I realized I was addicted to my prescription meds I quit work and started looking god help. That’s when I learned of suboxone. Then I wondered if I’m allowed to take that and start back work. Then I wondered if that would trade one drug for another?? I’m not in any trouble at all with the board or the law for that matter. My meds came from the doctor I worked for believe it or not! I have chondromalacia and was always in pain at work and eventually found out it caused a meniscus tear and partial ACL tear and had surgery.. and I have several other conditions that are all related to MS. So at 30 I was diagnosed with MS. But even worse I had a horrible childhood and have fit major depressive disorder all my life… it’s a horrible roller coaster of emotional pain!! And so my doc kept me on the pain meds for all the pain of my condition and my depression cause it worked wonders for me personality wise. I’ve been on every antidepressant there is except the controls I always told him I never wanted to end up on Xanax or Klonopin so we never tried those.. anyways I got all these medical problems that’s goes along with my addiction. What do I do now? thars why I was thinking of suboxone treatment. Studies show it helps with chronic pain plus withdrawals. Also read where it helps with depression states.. idk what to do! I don’t want to lose my nursing license that’s for sure. I got the biggest heart and I truly LOVE BEING A NURSE. I love people and helping them.. I LOVE BEING SOMEONE MAKING A DIFFERENCE. Having people proud of me.. etc… I never had those feelings as a child u know?? That’s why I want to practice as long as I can before I end up in a wheelchair or something.. Oh I’m in such a mess I need help bad! I just wish I was healthy mentally and physically so I could be the nurse I know o can be!! So no I’m not mad u think I should go cold turkey that’s why I’m here for advice on if I should go on suboxon.. I jus don’t know if I’ll last cold turkey with all my problems u know? Even if I make it through the withdrawals I’m going to still have a lifetime of pain I’m sure..

    #11496
    Roger Dat
    Roger Dat
    Participant
    @Roger Dat

    I would not be so quick to discount suboxone. I did not need it but I know of several people including nurses who swore it saved them. It is not a cure-all and you will have to wean off of it because it does replace the opiates you are using now. But it takes away the cravings which can be a huge help in your initial recovery. People say it gets them over the hump of craving while they get stronger mentally. It has to manage appropriately. I have also heard of cases where it was not and the person had just as much trouble getting off the suboxone as they did the opiates but it does not have to be that way. If managed appropriately, it can be a short-term crutch. Quitting cold turkey would be admirable but its not always the best way. There is nothing wrong with taking advantage of everything you can to help you get through this. You will have to find other ways to manage your pain. Does your state have a professional support program for health care workers? Many states have them now. Its not a perfect system but it allows you to be monitored and if you self-report to them, it protects your license. As long as you stick with their program they will not report you to the board. It’s not an easy program but if you want to stop using it’s worth looking in to.

    #11498
    Nurse Chistina
    Nurse Chistina
    Participant
    @Nurse Chistina

    Another thing to remember and keep in mind is that once you stop taking opiates, your pain will return and it will be worse, at least initially. The reason for this is because by using opiates, you have taken away your body’s ability to make make endorphins. It takes time for the body to return to its normal state and during that time it is difficult to manage your pain. You will need support from a doctor and a good recovery program to get you through this. For me, once I got past that, I realized that a lot of the pain I thought I was feeling was probably withdrawal and maybe some manifestations of my fragile mental health. I now view pain differently.

    #12199

    Vicky
    Participant
    @VickyM93

    Hey, I am sorry to hear about everything you are going through. I have a lot experience with opiate addiction and Suboxone that might help if I share. I have dealt with an addiction to opiates on and off for over 10 years. When I was in nursing school, I had an incredibly hard time with managing my addiction and eventually withdrew for a semester and started outpatient treatment for addiction and saw a doctor that prescribed suboxone. I tried quitting cold turkey many times and have had periods of success but never any long term sustained sobriety because I never quite grasped the coping skills I needed to manage the difficulties of life and my own problems with crippling anxiety and depression. I decided to try doing a suboxone treatment bc when Taking suboxone, you can not get high from taking opiates. You have to stop taking the suboxone for at least 36 hours or so depending on you metabolism in order to be able to feel the effects of taking an opiate. A huge problem I had with getting sober was managing my impulse control, especially when you first stop taking opiates and are trying to get your life back together. It is overwhelmingly difficult to get clean and go through withdrawals and pain when you are also trying to manage your life. So Anyway, I have been an RN and have been in suboxone since I got my license. I honestly don’t know if I would have been able to stop doing opiates I did not start a suboxone program. It would be a lot better if I was able to stop cold turkey bc then I would not have to wean off the suboxone, but I knew that I had to be honest with myself and take the extra help from the suboxone program bc I know I needed it. The BON never asked me to report being on a suboxone program and it is news to me if that is a requirement that they have. I did have to report it to my employer on a job application when I applied to work at a hospital just in case if they ever drug tested me, they would know that I have a prescription. It was never held against me when getting a job either. Now I must warn you that coming off of suboxone is just as bad as detoxing from any other opiate, but a doctor will work with you at your own pace to wean off as comfortably as possible even if it takes several months. I am lucky because in NC where I live the treatment that I entered was free without any insurance, but It took a while for me to find out about it. I tried going to a few suboxone docs before getting into my current treatment program that ended up costing me almost $700/mo between medication and doc visits but this was without insurance. In addition to helping with opiate addiction, suboxone has helped me better than any medication that I have taken before with anxiety and depression. Its not a cure all, but it does help substantially. I have not taken any opiates being on suboxone since I started treatment 18 months ago. It helped me turn my life around and get everything back on track. I hope to get off of it eventually when I feel comfortable enough with myself and have more of the obstacles in my life sorted out. There is no shame in having the extra help, especially if it will help you improve your life substantially. Unfortunately, suboxone treatment is widely misunderstood and many people think that it is just another excuse for an addict to keep going in their addiction and not get sober. This is not true at all. When on suboxone, opiate addicts don’t feel impaired at all, they feel completely normal. However, there is definitely a stigma attached to people who take suboxone especially in healthcare. I have heard many nurses I work with judge a patient coming into care bc they take suboxone. But anyway, I am sorry for going on a tangent. Bottom line, the choice is up to you. You just have to be completely honest with yourself and consider the pros and cons of taking subs or trying to get clean cold turkey. I hope this information helped you a little. If you have any more questions on suboxone, you can ask me and I will do my best to help.

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